By Amanda Craig PhD, LMFT

Do you exhibit behavior that you know is unhealthy? Maybe your close friends or family have pointed it out to you. Even though you know this behavior doesn’t cast you in the best light, it is still there, regularly, and it seems to have a hold over you. 

For some people it is the expression of anger by yelling at others. Some people express insecurity by blaming others or putting other people down. Others drink too much for no particular reason.

By Cliff Schuman, MS, LMFT

Let’s face it: we all want to be liked, approved of, respected, admired and found pleasing. So, we ask a grocery checkout cashier how their day is going, smile at our neighbor, volunteer to bring juice boxes to our kid’s preschool party, bake cupcakes for the bake sale at work, doggy sit for a friend, help a relative pack and move, take a sibling to the airport on the same day your big project is due…

In our last post, Making Real Changes Part 1: Why New Year Resolutions Don't Work and What To Do Instead, we discussed the neuroscience behind why intentions for drastic and grandiose changes fail and talked about how small repetitive actions that become habits are the only infallible way to make lasting changes.

(If you want to learn the neuroscience behind forming new or breaking old habits, here is a great article by Chopra Center. )

Did you make a New Year resolution this year? If you did, it’s probably because you wanted to make a real change in your life and you wanted it to happen soon. And, if you are like most people, right about now, you are beginning to see the cracks in your resolve.

Maybe you hear the cookies calling your name and you debate if you should have just one. Or, perhaps you had a hard time getting up this morning to go to the gym, like you resolved to do every day.