-Argued with your mother in the morning then ate until you were stuffed that night? -Left work angry with your boss then went straight to Dunkin Donuts? -Binged at home alone after a disappointing date?
If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you are probably an emotional eater.
Oh, the Holidays! We have a love-hate relationship with them. We look forward to them all year only to begin complaining about the stress, the over-the-top schedule, pants busting at the seams, and budget chocking on the dust of runaway spending.
We yearn for the perfection of holidays of our childhood, when Christmas (or Hanukkah or Festivus) was about BEING, having fun, family, and care-free wonder of what’s next. There was room for boundless joy, surprise, awe, tradition AND newness, doing AND being. Surely it wasn’t perfect (remember the time when you got your holiday outfit dirty before you even left the house and got the full doze of Mom’s wrath?), but it was to us.
You know that old adage, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”? I am convinced that nowhere is it truer than as it applies to marriage.
A typical couple entering marital therapy has already spent years attempting to change bad habits, improve connection, and resolve conflict. Most marital troubles source from an incomplete understanding of each other and relationship expectations based on that.
When I sit with a couple that’s experiencing a disconnect, what I often see is a discrepancy in how they are showing and receiving love, which can be interpreted as a LACK of love.
Our perception of love influences our ability to recognize and therefore experience it, as if it was a special lenses. Gary Chapman, the author of “The Five Love Languages” *** calls these lenses “languages”.