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By Kimberly Kuskovsky, M.A., MFT

The holidays can be a challenging time of year for couples, especially those celebrating together for the first time or as newlyweds. 
 
Conflict can arise between partners when we aren’t mindful of our own expectations and hopes, when our expectations are in conflict with our partner’s, and when pressure (from yourself and others) results in anxiety and worry.

Here is what you can do to ensure a smooth joining of holiday traditions, conflict and stress-free celebration of the season, and a joy-filled time with your love.

Did you make a New Year resolution this year? If you did, it’s probably because you wanted to make a real change in your life and you wanted it to happen soon. And, if you are like most people, right about now, you are beginning to see the cracks in your resolve.

Maybe you hear the cookies calling your name and you debate if you should have just one. Or, perhaps you had a hard time getting up this morning to go to the gym, like you resolved to do every day.

Contributed by a reader

In our house, for many years we referred to the anger, exhaustion and general feeling of overwhelm before Christmas as “Christmas Piss.”

It got to be a joke after a while and helped ease the strain we had over trying to shop for the right presents, send cards, go to holiday parties (why is it that everyone entertains at Christmas?), find the perfect outfits for every event, and yet maintain a warm and glowing family Christmas.

Revised

Oh, the Holidays! We have a love-hate relationship with them. We look forward to them all year only to begin complaining about the stress, the over-the-top schedule, pants busting at the seams, and budget chocking on the dust of runaway spending.
 
We yearn for the perfection of holidays of our childhood, when Christmas (or Hanukkah or Festivus) was about BEING, having fun, family, and care-free wonder of what’s next. There was room for boundless joy, surprise, awe, tradition AND newness, doing AND being. Surely it wasn’t perfect (remember the time when you got your holiday outfit dirty before you even left the house and got the full doze of Mom’s wrath?), but it was to us.