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  • NYC Therapists
    • NYC Therapists >
      • Angie Sadhu
      • Whitley Louvier
      • Megan Hernandez
      • Hannah Kang
  • CT Office
    • Amanda Craig, PhD Therapist
    • MMFT CT Partners >
      • Andre Burey, MD
      • Marybeth Jordan, LCSW
      • Ashlyn Campbell, LMB, FSC
      • Antonio Reale, ND, MS
      • Karen Hand, M.Ac., LA.c
    • MMFT CT Events
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BLOG

Making Real Changes Part 2: Create a system

1/5/2016

 
Making Real Changes Part 2: Why resolutions don't work and what you need to do instead. www.ManhattanMFT.com

In our last post, Making Real Changes Part 1: Why New Year Resolutions Don't Work and What To Do Instead, we discussed the neuroscience behind why intentions for drastic and grandiose changes fail and talked about how small repetitive actions that become habits are the only infallible way to make lasting changes.

(If you want to learn the neuroscience behind forming new or breaking old habits, here is a great article by Chopra Center. )
This blog post will focus on resources to make changes in a SPECIFIC area or reach a specific goal, like paying off debt.
Picture

Small repetitive actions that become habits are the only infallible way to make lasting changes. Tweet this.


To facilitate the forming of a new habit, many people benefit from guided programs, plans or ‘challenges’. These 'prepackaged' plans eliminate the need to map out those specific baby steps and all but assure consistency through regular prompts. All you have to do is sign up, set aside time in your calendar for execution and do it!

We’ve gathered a few free or low-cost resources that can help you get on with your goals.

Most New Year resolutions fall into these goal categories: Financial, Health, Lifestyle, Relationship, Order and Organization, Career & Education. See the list below to find the program that will support your process best.


Financial Resolutions or Goals

Most common financial resolutions fall into these categories:
  • Get on a budget
  • Get rid of debt
  • Save money

The tools for achieving goals typically involve tracking spending, reducing spending and case-specific actions.

Living Well Spending Zero
31-Day program offered for free via e-mail or as an e-book. Bonus: includes household decluttering and organizing steps.

Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover
Book, live financial training classes, free online tools including a budget tool

Feed the pig
Self-paced 4-week financial fitness challenge. Put specific steps on your calendar for the experience of a guided program.

Health Resolutions and Goals


These goals typically include:
  • Lose weight
  • Exercise
  • Eat healthily or stop eating junk
  • Quick smoking or drinking

Become an Ex.
Quit smoking with this guided program.

30 Day Fitness Challenges. Free online exercise programs.

SkinnyMs.’ 30-Day Clean Eating Challenge. Simple 30-day challenge focused on developing healthy habits. Website has lots of meal plans, recipes, and more.

EatingWell Weight Loss Challenge. Plan for those who are looking to lose weight.

Beginner’s Training Guide from Muscle and Fitness magazine. A free 30-day weight loss-focused challenge that includes healthy eating and exercise steps

100 Day of Real Food- aims to help you eat and be healthier by cutting out processed food. Lots of free recipes, tips and a paid 14-day program $28.

Keep in mind that getting your eating under control may not be a simple matter of a right meal plan. If you suspect that you have a problem with food read this blog by our eating disorders specialist Debra O'Donnell.  Stop the diet, lose the weight!


De-cluttering, Getting Organized


Fly Lady.  Free online decluttering, organizing and cleaning community based on Fly Lady’s book Sink Reflections. Daily, weekly and monthly cleaning and organizing prompts.

Ruth Soukup’s 31-Day Living Well Spending Zero plan. Will work equally well for decluttering as it does for beefing up your finances as it focuses on organizing your stuff and using what you already have.

New Year Cleaning Challenge.  A 14-week free online cleaning and organizing program with weekly assignments, printables, checklists and more.

52 Weeks To An Organized Home. A free guided 52-week e-mail-based program that focuses on one small area each week.

Big Life Goals:

These goals can be generalized into these categories:
  • Learn something (play guitar, speak French)
  • Complete something (finish renovating the house, write a novel)
  • Start something (business)
  • Change something (career, town)
To set yourself up for success make sure that you are clear about the specifics of your goal, its ‘due’ date and the baby steps required to get there. Block out times in your calendar to take action and secure support from others. There are online support groups for entrepreneurs starting businesses, writers looking to complete their work, and more.


Relationship Goals/Resolutions:


Relationship goals can look like this:
  • Spend more time with family
  • Better relationship with children, parents or significant others.
  • Find love/get into a relationship

To assure success in this decidedly subjective category, translate ambiguous goals like ‘better relationship’ into specific tangible steps. For example…
  • Do 3 nice things for my husband daily
  • Visit my parents at least once a week
  • Call my mom daily

The specificity of these goals will allow you to stay on track. As for results—the consistency of taking small quantifiable actions will generate momentum for bigger changes!

Read How To Love Your Partner Best: "The Five Love Languages" Way and Want To Grow Closer as a Couple? Do this… and 25 Ways To Show Love That Beat Flowers and Chocolate (and possibly jewelry!)  for ideas and inspiration. 

Happy and Healthy 2016!

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