When she reached out after so many years, I was very happy. I had hopes of picking up where we had left off, and it seemed we did just that. Over the next two months we emailed daily and Skyped several times. It felt warm and easy. I was going to attend a conference near her town in the next month and we made plans to get together. But somehow it never happened. And I still don’t know exactly why.
Was it that she didn’t like me anymore? Why? What did I do to put her off? What else was going on? Although I reached out to her numerous times, I never heard from her again. I see her on Facebook sometimes and it still hurts. What hurts the most is not knowing what happened.
A romantic break up is painful but comprehensible, tolerated as an unwelcome fact of dating life. But losing a friend is destabilizing in a different way. Aren’t friendships supposed to last? Aren’t friends supposed to stick with us through thick and thin? If not, what does BFF mean?
We are encouraged to end toxic relationships with lovers. But sometimes a friendship can be toxic too. Although friends can be perfect jewels, letting go of a friendship is sometimes a necessary act of self-care. In my case, I was the one left. But what if you are the one who wants to leave?
Here are some ideas to think about before you decide and some ways to do so in a respectful and self-caring manner.
Before you do anything consider:
What to do when you’ve decided to end a friendship.
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