How to Write a Love Letter

By Amanda Craig, PhD, LMFT

My husband inspired this blog.  For our anniversary he must have gotten me something, probably an expensive outfit from my favorite store or a delicious dinner at a farm-to-table restaurant, but I don’t remember.  What I do remember is the beautiful letter he wrote to me.  I know he worked on it for a while and it brought me to tears. 
 
I put it away somewhere safe, where I will pull it out and read it again over the years.  I hope to share it one day with my children to show them what a love letter looks like.

The tradition of writing love letters seems to have gotten lost over the years. It's a shame. Hallmark will never be able to come up with something as good and as deeply touching as words that came directly from your heart.

Intimidated by the idea? Don't be! Here, sincerity counts for more than perfection. Not sure where to start? Here are some tips:
 

• Handwritten is old school and personal.  If your handwriting is at all legible then write it by hand.  My husband typed it!
  
• Length does not matter, it’s what it says that matters.
•  Perhaps get nice stationary? It’s likely to be cherished for years. Quality paper lasts longer and makes it easy to turn the letter into a keepsake.
•  Don’t over think it.  Too much thought will scare you away from your inspiration.
• Add things your partner did this past year that you admired. Tell the story of what they did and how it made you feel.   Here are some prompts:
  

 
                              I love how you….
                              I notice how you always (now there is a good use of “always”)….
                              I enjoyed watching you….
                              You amazed me when…..
                              I will never forget the admiration I felt when…
                              You introduced our family to…..
                              I love to watch you…
                              Everyday I see you … and it makes me…..
 

• Maybe they taught you something or helped you with something difficult? Tell them!
  
•  Write about a memory, an experience together that you enjoyed. 
  

Most importantly, as you begin to write, you may feel silly, bashful, or overly critical of yourself. Keep writing!  You are feeling the vulnerability of sharing your love!  That vulnerability is what a love letter is all about and it will come off the paper and offer your partner a feeling of warmth, love and connection like nothing else.  Enjoy the moment! 
 
There is no deadline for this. It doesn’t have to coincide with a special occasion or a holiday, but it does have to come from the place of love, respect, and care.
 
So, what are you waiting for? Get writing!