More Sleep Please!

After many decades of undervaluing sleep in American society, there seems to be a cultural shift happening.  Whether it’s from reading the latest research or finding out about the amazing nap pods used by companies like Google and NASA, people are rethinking the importance of getting Z’s.

Adequate sleep is a self-care necessity. It is shown to have tremendous benefits on the body, mind, and soul. Most people want to get good sleep, but for many families, this is often easier said than done. Sleep, a distant memory, is frequently seen as a luxury rather than a given. But does it have to be this way? Many parents don’t think so, and are making conscious efforts to change the way their family sleeps for the better. 

One of the first steps you can make towards this change is to prioritize your children’s sleep. If your kids aren’t sleeping, you’re not sleeping. This may seem obvious, but many parents accept defeat when it comes to getting their kids to sleep well. There are so many reasons to re-enter that battle! 
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If your sleep deprived self needs some motivation, here are three amazing benefits you give your family when you prioritize sleep: 
 

Good lifetime habits  

“My two year old refuses to nap.” “My five year old won’t sleep in his own bed.” “My teenager is up all hours of the night.” Parents often wrongly assume that their child will grow out of their sleep problems.  While possible, it is rare for children to improve their sleep on their own. Children usually do not make the healthiest decisions about sleep for themselves; therefore, they shouldn’t be expected or given the freedom to do so.  They need your help in establishing a healthy attitude towards sleep and developing a helpful bedtime routine.  Setting a regular bedtime, wake-up time, and limiting electronic use before bed is a good start (even on weekends). Modeling healthy sleep habits yourself will also do wonders in communicating the importance of sleep to your children. Habits, for better or worse, are hard to break. 
 

Healthy development

 Most parents know on a general level that sleep is good for their children, but many may not understand just how much it matters. Research shows that sleep deprivation in children is increasingly common. Loss of sleep is linked to lower IQ, ADHD, obesity, and emotional instability.   “Sleep problems not only disrupt a child's nights, they disrupt his days, too, by making him less mentally alert, more inattentive, unable to do concentrate, and easily distracted. They also make him more physically impulsive, hyperactive, or lazy." (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, page 11) On the flip side, when you ensure your child gets proper sleep the list of positive effects is long. Consistent quality sleep is essential for good health and mood. Well-rested children are more likely to be happier, less anxious and irritable, and more creative and focused. They have fewer behavior problems, better academic performance, and experience many health benefits.  “...the children who slept more [at age three] were more fun to be around, more sociable, and less demanding." (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, page 25)

 
A better you

Good sleep is not only beneficial to your children—it is beneficial to you!  When your children go to bed easily at the same time most nights, you can use that evening time for yourself, your marriage, and to sleep.  Parents need rest and alone time. It helps them to be more patient and present with their children and each other. Leading marriage researcher, John Gottman, regularly states that the greatest gift you can give your kids is a happy and strong relationship between the two of you. 

 
A few practical tips:
 
Create cozy
When it comes to sleep, don’t underestimate the lure of ambiance. Here are a few ways to increase the coziness of your family’s sleep environment. 

1. Low light in the evenings helps regulate your body’s natural circadian rhythms. Because light comes from electronics, limiting use before bed is a good idea.  Try implementing a “bedtime” for the family’s devices and turn them off at least 30-60 minutes before hitting the sack. 

​2. A sound machine can be a game changer, especially for city dwellers. Not only does it block out street and neighbor noise, it can eventually have a Pavlovian effect. Many people report getting sleepy as soon as they hear the soothing, repetitive sound.

3. Take the time to evaluate you and your kids’ comfort needs for bedtime. Is your bed too hard or soft? How’s the temperature? Most likely, everyone will have different preferences and needs. Very young children sometimes get too hot or cold, but don’t yet know how to communicate this. While it doesn’t seem comfortable to adults, infants often prefer to be swaddled. The tightness resembles the womb and prevents involuntary twitching from waking them up. 

Consistency is key
This is true for all age groups, adults included. Consistency is not only important for keeping circadian rhythms functioning well; sleep routines take the stress out of making decisions every night, and set the stage for peaceful rather than chaotic evenings. For tips on creating healthy bedtime routines check here   (http://www.manhattanmft.com/blog/5-tips-for-painless-back-to-school-routines). 

Don’t ignore sleep issues
Sometimes it’s easy to disregard a bad night’s sleep, especially if it’s a common occurrence.  Instead, see if you can figure out what might be contributing to you or your child’s restlessness.  Sleep disturbances can be caused by a myriad of reasons, from something as little as a noisy cricket to something as big as an underlying health problem. Three easy areas to examine:

1. Diet: What and when you eat is important. Eating big meals too late can make it more difficult to fall asleep. Caffeine will also keep you up. If you’re one of those who can drink coffee right before bed and fall asleep fine, you may still want to cut back. Research says caffeine not only affects your ability to fall asleep, but also how deeply you sleep. This is especially true for children. 

2. Exercise: Daily exercise helps promote sleep, and stretching can also be a relaxing bedtime ritual.  

3. Emotions: Feeling stressed? Have a lot on you mind? Try keeping a journal next to your bed to write down thoughts that may be keeping you up. Listing a few things you are grateful for is also good practice. According to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, keeping a gratitude journal improves sleep. At bedtime, ask your kids what they were thankful for today.  There’s a good chance it will help foster sweet dreams. 

If you or your kids are still having issues with sleep despite making positive changes, mention it to your doctor and therapist to get some help.  

Resources
Nurture Shock by Po Bronson-Chapter 2
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth
Solve your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber
On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Gary Ezzo
Essentialism by Greg McKeown-Chapter 8
And Baby Makes Three by John and Julie Gottman
Economics of Sleep Parts 1 and 2-Freakanomics Radio Podcast