April Showers Bring May Flowers

By: Sarah Trance, LMFT 

Join Sarah as she shares tips on how to thrive through our challenges instead of just surviving them. 

NYC can be a fast paced, goal-oriented society that very often pushes us to survive rather than thrive.  A long winter can make the commute feel slower, the work day feel harder, and leave us feeling like we constantly live in darkness.  In contrast, springtime in NYC seems to ignite the city and bring it alive. People enjoy longer walks with their dogs, restaurants open their windows and add tables to the sidewalks, and leaves grow green again. It’s a time of growth and renewal. What feeds your growth? What allows you to renew your energy and push forward? 
 
Do you remember the age-old saying that April showers bring May flowers?  If we want to see the leaves turn green, then we need rainy, stormy days in April for our ecosystem to be fed and renewed. As people, we go through this same process.  We need times of turbulence, challenges, and change for emotional, mental and physical growth to exist. While those rainy moments can be tough to endure, we desperately need those experiences to harvest self-renewal and joy.  It’s human nature to thrive from challenge.  It’s biological for us to constantly evolve.  
 
How do we know what times of turbulence look like?  Challenges can present themselves in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  For example: 
 
・Are you struggling to get that promotion at work? Glass ceiling?  
・Do you feel directionless or are spending energy at a dead-end job?  
・Do you struggle to eat in a balanced and healthy way?  
・Maybe you exercise consistently but feel stuck with results?  
・Could you be feeling less social than usual? Not enough time for friends?  
・Is your support network moving away but you’re feeling stuck in place? 
・Do you feel challenged in your current relationship or in making good                      decisions in your marriage? 
・Maybe you’re struggling with fertility issues or finding ways to finance the expansion of your family?
・Are your kids experiencing growing pains and you’re struggling to adjust?

Hurdles can come in all different heights and at different speeds.  Moments of turbulence happen professionally, personally, financially and relationally.  It’s all normal and needed to develop a better understanding of self and for a clearer path toward growth.
 
So often, people begin to burn out or get frustrated with all the hurdles that adulthood brings.  We may feel stuck by our lack of progress, or pressure. Fear that comes with change can restrain us as well. What do we do to get out of our own way and face our challenges?
 
・Take baby steps and create small, achievable, here-and-now goals.
・Reflect on the small wins and praise yourself (see our blog on Self- Compassion).
・Journal and re-read past entries to highlight personal growth.
・Make timelines to note benchmarks and the small, positive moments.
・Take deep breaths.  Slow down.  What do you need today?
・Use your support system to help you, emotionally and mentally.
・Create the most consistent and restful sleep routine possible for you.
・Set time aside each day to check-in with yourself.
 
What gives you energy to flourish? Much like the rain in April, what do you need to help your own leaves grow in May? In order to take on challenges, what do you need in place for yourself?  Here are some good questions to ask yourself in order to check-in with your needs, desires, wants and progress to work through those challenges:
 
1) What intention do I set for myself each morning?
2) When do I feel my most calm?
3) How do I feel my deepest connection with others?
4) What helps me to push toward my long-term goals?
5) What am I appreciative for? When do I recognize those things most?
6) When is my heart fullest? What am I doing when I notice that feeling?
7) When do I feel rejuvenated, relaxed or refreshed?
 
The city operates at lightning speed.  In order to work through the challenges and stormy weather of everyday life, we must carve out the time to check-in with ourselves.  Taking care of yourself in order to create progress and growth in life in natural, human element.  Ask yourself the tough questions, make small goals and always praise yourself for the progress.  Remember, the sunshine always appears after the storm runs its course.